I recently had a great show at Central Michigan University and one of the students asked me for a copy of my performance piece “Pocho Joe’s Top Ten Pieces of College Advice.” (Thanks for reaching out WR! Here ya go!)

10) Be patient with yourself. If you don’t solve homelessness, child obesity and world poverty by fall break, that’s okay. That’s what spring semester is for.

9) Do not be afraid because, trust me, everyone else is too. Even those two really cute girls who act like they’ve known each other their entire life even though they just met last week…they’re scared shitless.

8) Drink Coffee.

7) When you say “hi” to a friend on campus and they act all weird, there is a 99.9% chance it has nothing to do with you so LET IT GO.

6) Take a dance class.

5) Make sure you study cuz, even when you think you’re prepared, you’re not. There is no type of shame like that of a Mexican-American mother who asks her Polish-Mexican-American son, “Mi’jo, how did you get a C in Spanish??”

4) If you see a group of African-American men, dancing in a line, do not join them! (Some things are just not for you.)

3) Ladies, all men are not assholes. Gentlemen, do not call a woman “crazy” just cuz you don’t understand her.

2) Be bold, be brave, tell that person you like them!

1) Fail. And when you’re done failing, fail some more.