“AS REAL AS…”
I’ve always wanted to be Johnny in dirty dancing
The sensitive yet cool bad boy who knows how to twist
I walk in
Take her hand
Feel our hearts beat as one
And we know
So when my last girlfriend came into my life
And it didn’t feel like that
I let her go
She wasn’t right for me!
My status switched quick!
I started clicking “like” on cute girls pics!
Yo, ladies, I’m single once again!
But I can’t
For some reason
Get this woman out of my head
Wait, which movie am I in again?
Cuz I feel like the detective
At the end of Usual Suspects
I’m putting the pieces together about my ex
The chemistry when we first met
How we perfectly danced together while we slept
We melted easily into each other’s lives
Ending each and every night
Watching “The Daily Show”
We were so close
Has been sleeping next to me all this time
And I’m just too blind to see it?
I just broke up with Keyser Soze
So I go outside
And all of a sudden
It’s New Year’s Eve
And I’m harry ready for his sally
Running through New York City streets
So I can say
I love the way you can’t wake up in the morning even with five alarms set
I love the way you eat healthy all day then devour a gallon of ice cream at midnight
I love the way your clean clothes sit in a pile for days
I love the way your finger caresses the inside of my palm while we watch a play
Let’s take this chance
Let’s jump off this cliff together
Like we’re Butch and Sundance
But as I reach for her hand
She’s standing there
Holding the leads
Now we’re in Glengarry Glenn Ross
And she’s demanding the ABC’s
Always Be Closing, Joe!
Step up! Be a man!
Have you figured it out yet
What is your five-year plan?
I don’t know
I’m really confused
Cuz all of a sudden we’re in a courtroom
And she’s Tom Cruise
And she demands
“I want the truth!”
And I’m like
I can’t handle the truth!
I don’t know if I love you
I know I LOVE you
But I don’t know if I love you for the right reasons
And I’m scared that it won’t be enough
And we’ll end up
In The Graduate
Sitting at the back of the bus
And I’ll be wondering
Did I do the right thing?
And Al Pacino from Godfather 3 will be screaming in my head
You were out and she pulled you back in!
So now I sit here alone
Praying that your ringtone will somehow emerge from my phone
Cuz at times it feels like I’m in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
And I’m Ready to love you infinitely
No matter what you say or what you do
But you’re Sarah Marshall
You’d rather hang out with that rich British dude
Who plays the guitar
Cause they always play the guitar
But I’m sure he loves you
You guys seem to be a much better fit
You both seem so happy in all of your profile pics
It’s Facebook official
Something that I was scared to do
Maybe it wasn’t that you weren’t right for me
Maybe I wasn’t right for you
And that’s okay
At least we’re friends again or at least you accepted my request
I just wish there was a music cue
So I would know when it’s time to let go
Or when it’s time for the grand romantic gesture
Cuz I so badly wanna lift a boombox over my head
Serenade the one with a high school marching band
I wanna play her in a game of one on one double or nothing
I wanna run through airport security for her
I wanna rescue my hooker from a life on the streets
And I want my Pretty Woman to rescue me right back
Harry had Sally
Noah had Allie
Woody had Buzz
And I’m gonna have you
And we’re gonna have those shitty days
When Darth Vader is lowering me into carbonite
And you’ll look at me and say “I love you”
And I’ll smile and say
Nobody puts baby in the corner.
And then I do the Dirty Dancing dance. For realz. You’ve just gotta see it live.
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